Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sagacious Bass by Christopher M. Bohan

Written: July 8, 2010

Sagacious Bass by Christopher M. Bohan

‘Fresh water fish’? Sounds a bit fishy to me. Are you saying fish from the ocean aren’t ‘fresh’? Ocean water is somehow backwash from somewhere? Is that what you are saying?

‘Fresh’ – from Webster’s Dictionary: 1: newly made or obtained. 2: recently arrived; just come. What? It doesn’t rain in the ocean? Oh, like the Great Lakes are the newest thing in the world. Read the papers – you can’t even swim in Lake Erie due to the ‘fresh’ run-off of pesticides and hypodermic needles.

I think the ocean needs a new PR person. It’s a new century folks! Time to jazz it up a bit. Those ‘fresh water’ people have even infiltrated the dictionary with their slanted propaganda. As evidence, I cite Webster’s – fresh: 5: not salty; like water. That is just dirty semantics if you ask me.

Maybe the ocean is just ‘old school’. Maybe we could bottle it and call it ‘wise water’ or possibly, ‘sagacious’. Webster’s Dictionary – sagacious: wise and sophisticated. Would you order the ‘fresh water bass’ or the ‘sagacious bass’? That is a no-brainer. I’ll take wise and sophisticated over not salty any day. ‘Fresh’ can also imply sassy. And, I ain’t eatin’ no ‘sassy bass’.

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