Written: July 22, 2010
Cold Ones by Christopher M. Bohan
A day spent tanning hides left Stan’s arms sore and rubbery. His back didn’t feel that great, either. He had remnants of hide under his fingernails, in his hair and some had even settled in the cuffs of his Wranglers. The temperature outside was hotter than hell and the relief of shade only decreased the temperature to hot as hell.
Stan plopped down into the swing on the front porch with a cold glass of ice water and a cold beer. He took a sip from the ice water and then poured the remainder on his crotch. He cracked open the beer and drained its contents in one thirsty gulp. He wanted another beer, but decided to wait till the ice cubes on his crotch had fully melted before he rose to make his way to the kitchen.
After a few seconds, he rose and went though the front door towards the kitchen. In the den, Auntie Rose was watching “Hollywood Tonight” on the television. Stan overheard the story of a millionaire movie star whose wife had left him for another woman. Auntie Rose was astonished and let out a dramatic gasp.
Stan decided to take two beers and went back out to the front porch, sat on the swing, and looked forward to another day of tanning hides.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Like in the Movies by Christopher M. Bohan
Written: July 21, 2010
Like in the Movies by Christopher M. Bohan
“Some things are better left unsaid!” She said as she walked out the back door. But, she quickly changed her mind and walked around the side of the house and made a dramatic entrance through the front door. She wished it were raining, like in the movies, so the entrance would be even more dramatic, but it would do. It had to.
“I slept with your brother the night before the wedding!” She tried to cry, like in the movies, but she couldn’t. It came out rather stale and flat. She began to wonder why the screen door hadn’t slammed as she went out the back earlier, like in the movies. In the movies, the screen door always slammed.
Her husband just stood there with this blank look on his face and said, “Yeah, I know. I slept with your sister. So what?” Then he went out back to flip the steaks on the grill and, wouldn’t you know it, the damn screen door slammed behind him.
She stood in awe of irony.
“Hey babe? When ya quit being crazy would you bring out the Lawry’s?”
It was the best steak she ever had, and well, you can’t taste the steak in the movies.
Like in the Movies by Christopher M. Bohan
“Some things are better left unsaid!” She said as she walked out the back door. But, she quickly changed her mind and walked around the side of the house and made a dramatic entrance through the front door. She wished it were raining, like in the movies, so the entrance would be even more dramatic, but it would do. It had to.
“I slept with your brother the night before the wedding!” She tried to cry, like in the movies, but she couldn’t. It came out rather stale and flat. She began to wonder why the screen door hadn’t slammed as she went out the back earlier, like in the movies. In the movies, the screen door always slammed.
Her husband just stood there with this blank look on his face and said, “Yeah, I know. I slept with your sister. So what?” Then he went out back to flip the steaks on the grill and, wouldn’t you know it, the damn screen door slammed behind him.
She stood in awe of irony.
“Hey babe? When ya quit being crazy would you bring out the Lawry’s?”
It was the best steak she ever had, and well, you can’t taste the steak in the movies.
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