Operation Dessert

Written: Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Operation Dessert by Christopher M. Bohan

The grilled cheese sat idling on the plate next to a half eaten baby carrot and a virgin stalk of string cheese. The straw in the juice box seemed as if it were cocked and ready to fire at any moment.

Little Jimmy had a sneer on his puss the size of Texas and he wasn’t backing down. Months of experiments had taught him that tantrums never work, a sweet grin is only 3% effective, but an old fashioned stare-down will get you dessert before dinner 15% of the time. The odds weren’t great, but Little Jimmy was feeling lucky tonight and the chocolate cake on the counter was calling his name.

His focus was deep. He imagined himself eating the cake. No sudden movements. No screaming. No whimpering. Keep the mouth sealed shut to disallow any food entry other that the desired dessert. At select moments, he would shift his gaze to the cake - in essence, directing his mother’s attention toward the object in question. When she looked back, he would focus in on her real hard and send strong signals of ‘cake’.

After five minutes of intense focus, Jimmy’s mom broke the silence, “No cake. You haven’t eaten your dinner yet.”

In a flash, Jimmy squeezed the juice box and sent a stream of apple juice right into his mother’s eye. Before he knew it, he was on his back in his crib with the lights out.

“Damn it. Back to the drawing board.”