Fancy Feast Freak Out by Christopher M. Bohan
He pushed the shopping cart down the aisle with regret and a deep sense that he had never been there before. He gingerly snatched a can of Fancy Feast from the shelf, sniffed it, smelled nothing then turned and whipped the can down the aisle where it passed over the Old Bay display and then lodged itself into a rump roast that lay peacefully in the subliminally violent red meat case.
In a fit of rage he had never felt before he began hurling tins of cat food in every direction. At 3am on a Tuesday the 24-hour Grocery Bag became a war zone, of sorts. A lady shopping in frozen foods took one to the cheek, fell to the ground and was aided by a stock boy who pressed a bag of frozen cauliflower to her swollen, bleeding face.
He was picking up a can of dog food just as the Taser stung him in the back. The current caused his hand to clench and the dog food can burst open sending Alpo all over the display for flea collars as a plea gasped from his mouth, "I don't know. I don't know. Do you hear Mozart?"
Written: July 28, 2010